just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
