He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he was CRYING into my vagina
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
50% drunk capacity currently
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
