the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
