Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
