Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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