you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
