Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
