Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
