she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Porn is love you can see.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
