You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
