There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
as a side note pls kill me
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
