Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
