we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
