just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She's like a pop up book from hell.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
