just tell him i said nine months
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
