I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
