i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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