Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize