I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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