This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize