when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
