Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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