Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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