He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
