Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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