i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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