Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just blew my weed a kiss
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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