I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
