Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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