He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
