you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
