they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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