I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
PANTIES FOUND
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
