I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
The Olympian is in my bed
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
