I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I have fence marks all over my body
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
