that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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