I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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