Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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