that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize