Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
