do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
