I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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