I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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