he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
