DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
