I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
