well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
where am i from again
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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