it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
i need some magic done to my vagina
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
