the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
