if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
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