It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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