do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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