There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
