he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
