I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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