Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize