omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
