nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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