It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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