I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
