Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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