it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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