Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
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