I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
