just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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