the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
