if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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