Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
