FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
