This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
